I’m scared of heights. Let’s start there! I’m locked knees, clammy hands, racing pulse scared of heights and that could literally be from standing on a table.
A couple of months ago I went with my family to Lake Eland on the Kwazulu Natal South Coast. There is a “lovely” (in the words of family members) swing bridge there with “incredible” views. They are right, it is incredible – see image below.
So we went and in the heat of the moment I decided that yes indeed, I ,Kirsten Duberly will take a wander across said swing bridge. It was limited to 6 people at a time and somehow I managed to be the leader of our group of 6. In hindsight it was a good thing because if I was at the back, I probably would have waited until everyone was on the bridge, then sneakily (yes, I said sneakily) run through the bush path to the end and pretended to have crossed, which would have probably raised a few questions about how exactly I got there and well, it doesn’t matter now, I was first.
This is me before crossing – if I didn’t have my sunglasses on, you may see a hint of the moment of crazy in my eye that made me decide to do this.
This is my Mom & I making our way SLOWLY across the very high swingy swing bridge (remember I was the pace maker).
At this point I was repeating “just one foot in front of the other, one foot in front of the other…” I was on the bridge, there were people behind me and I couldn’t stop or reverse. I found a point of focus on the other side of the bridge and did not take my eyes off it. I didn’t look down, I didn’t look sideways, I didn’t do anything except put one foot in front of the other.
I don’t know how long it took me to get across (or how frustrated the rest of the group was), but when I got to the other side and after my heart had stopped pounding and I had stopped shaking – I realised what I had done. I had faced one of my greatest fears, I put one foot in front of the others and I MADE IT!!
There are many changes that will happen in my life this year and I’m clammy hands, racing pulse scared but if I FOCUS on my end goal and literally take each day at a time I know I will succeed. I didn’t over think walking across the ridiculously high swing bridge, I stormed toward it and announced that I’m doing it and diggity-dang I did it!
This is Jason & I at the end, shoo we are relieved.
The image below is the view of where we had come from. I was so proud & still am. Happy days.
So in the upcoming months when I’m scared and want to give up, I’m not going to, I’m going to remember how proud I was of myself when I had inched my way across this bridge. Hey, I may even print one of these photo’s out and put it somewhere prominent that I can be reminded of what I did.
Next step? Skydiving!! Nah – I don’t think so.